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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My Letter To Congress

Mr. Congressman,

I am writing in regards to the $700B government buyout of bad gambling debts. I lost $80 in last weeks poker game, and was wondering if there will be any paperwork I need to fill out to get reimbursed.

Sincerely,
Me

Posted with LifeCast

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Dancing And Jesus

Last night I became painfully aware of the fact that people who like to dance, are the Jesus-freaks of night clubs. While the bible thumpers are easily discouraged with a bluntly put "Fuck off!", or a slammed door in the face.... Dancers are a hell of a lot more persistant, and almost require physical violence to be dealt with.

You know, I do think you have fun dancing... I'm not doubting that. But your theory that if I just got out there and tried it, that I too would love it, is quite flawed. You see, I do not gain enjoyment from making a jackass of myself. Nor can I think of any activity which causes you to sweat, that I would call "fun".... I'd call it: work.

Your pestering the hell out of me to dance, is no more going to get me on the dancefloor, than the two guys in ties on my front porch are going to get me in the gates of heaven. But you see, that's where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints moves on to the next house, yet this is the point at which the dancers increase their pestering.

Never have I had the two guys in ties, grab me by the arms and try to pull me to Jesus. Neither have they ever tried to use my refusal to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour as a slight against them personnaly. The two guys on my porch have never called in friends for assistance in making me see the light... They have never told complete strangers, that I am a non-believer and asked them to explain to me the joys of loving the Lord...

You know, I may think picking my nose is fun... But you'll never find me trying to convince you that you too would fine pure extacy in doing it yourself. I'm sure you've seen people do it, and I realize that if you thought it looked fun, that you would have tried it... And if you did find enjoyment it, you too would be a nose picker.. So I do not see a reason to try and get you to try it.

So when it comes to having two guys in shirt and tie trying to bring me to the lord, or someone who thinks dancing is "fun", give me the Jesus Freak any day......



Posted with LifeCast

Sunday, September 21, 2008

You are a jackass if...

You're one of the idiots who buys one of these $30.00 cardboard
cutouts...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

How to get Punk Radio back in your car after XM Radio Fucked us With Fungus 53

Heres a quick video on how to get Punk Radio back in your car, after XM Radio fucks you and takes Fungus 53 off the air.



Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Fuck Off XM Radio

XM radio channels go from 1 to 256. Of this, 9 are country stations, 3 are Christian, 15 are rock, 7 are hip hop, 5 are jazz and blues, 14 are news, 54 are sports, and 1 plays punk.

Some jackass up at XM corporate named Jon Zellner, thought a channel that plays nothing but AC/DC 24/7 would be a good idea. I mean, what the hell... they got a 24/7 Metallica and a 24/7 Led Zepelin channel.

So when this programming GENIUS sat down and looked at the current programming guide, where do you think he put it? Yep! In place of the one genre that only had 1 measly channel.

My radio had been out of commission for almost 2 months, and yesterday I reactivated for a year. Tuned to 53 and what do I hear? AC/DC!?!? On Fungus? I look at the display and it doesn't say Fungus, it days AC/DC. I scoured the web for answers, and fired off some emails.

Today I received a form email regarding the DEMISE of Fungus 53.

So as that was the only reason I was an XM subscriber, there was nothing I could do but call, cancel and demand a full refund, which I received.

Maybe this is why your stock is in the toilet at $0.80 a share, and you're about to go belly up.

So to XM, and the programming genius who got rid of an entire genre of music so he could hear Back in Black around the clock.... I say... FUCK YOU! I hope you die a painful, bankruptcy filled death.


Thursday, September 04, 2008

Buy my 2006 GLI so I can buy a Honda

I still love my AirCoolers, and will probably own one till the day I die. But this has been my first, worst, and most definitely LAST experience with a watercooled VW.

Maybe it all started when it took them a week to deliver me my new car after I had paid for it..... or maybe it started when they screwed up and titled the car wrong (which still isnt fixed)....

I'm not real sure when it all started, but over the course of two years and countless warranty repairs, with the last one leaving me with no AC or radio for the month of August, is definitely where it needs to end.


While I have gotten some great VW gear, including a Shirt, 3 hats, a travel mug and a keychain, I would prefer my car not be a P.O.S. instead.....

It's black, with 27,000 miles. It has a new compressor, and a new Satellite radio.... wait...

While TECHNICALLY it does have a new radio, its the wrong one, and doesn't have satellite. Jeff at Browns has promised to order me the correct one, and have it soon. He let me keep the radio in my car this time while we wait for the new one. If you purchase it before the new radio comes in, I'll make sure you get it.

I'm not bagging on Brown's, or Jeff. He's been really helpful mostly. And anyways, they don't make them, they just fix them.

Anyways back to the car..... it's black, 27,000 miles, new Compressor, some new sensor on the passenger side for the airbag, some new sensor in the front of the car for the airbag, the fan blower works now, the hood release works now, and TECHNICALLY, it has a new satellite radio.

If you really want, I'll also throw in all the sweet VW gear I've accumulated through my many service visits. I've included pictures below.

Oh, some notes on the gear: the hat on the left is really worn out and is probably only worth putting on a trophy shelf somewhere, but the Jaguar one, and the one on the left are brand new, I haven't gotten to them yet.

The shirt is used, but well maintained. I wash it regularly and keep it stored in a drawer.

The keychain is broken, but it does say VW on it, so it would look good on the shelf next to the worn out hat.

And the mug pictured isn't the actual mug. My wife has the real one. The real one looks just like it though.... except it's metal.... and black.... and doesn't say "Just Say No to Drugs" on it.... it says "Volkswagen" on it.

My payoff quote today is: $13,323.81

Cash and Carry!