Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Somethings Going Down

Cops are all over my neighbors house and have our street blocked off.

Wonder what's up...

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Stupid Shit 2

Went to a local Chinese restraunt a while back. They had the sweetest wrappers on their chopsticks....

Here is one side:

What the hell does that even say?

And here's the other side:

Awesome! I can now pick up a truck with my newly learned chopsticking skills!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Rockstar Games has Killed the Grand Theft Auto Franchise

WTF Rockstar?

The Grand Theft auto series has been my all-time favorite PC game-line.....

Until GTA IV......

First of all, it was a serious headache to install.

What the hell is this Rockstar Social Club thing? Im ANTI-Social! I hate people. Thats why I don't have a MySpace page, or a FaceBook page, or any of that dumb ass shit.... Now I HAVE to join this dumbass "Social Club" in order to play the game?

I think this is a ploy to position themselves to be like Steam, and deliver downloadable games through, so I understand the reasoning, but it's still fucking stupid. So I install their shitty ass Social Club... Then it says I need to have a Games for Windows Live account....

I have to create a what? A Games For Windows Live account? Why? Windows is a piece of shit. Microsoft is a piece of shit. Now I have to create an account on their shitty service just to play the most awesomest game in the world? WTF!?!?

Ok, so I'm jonesing for some GTA action, so I buckle and create the account. Link my what? What the hell does it want me to link? I don't have a shitty XBox, I don't have any stupid account to link.... How the fuck do I just play the goddamn game?

After about 30 minutes or so of fucking around, I think I finally got the game installed. So I launch it.

Oh hells yes! FINALLY!!!!!

Well I've been playing for 10 days now. I bought it on the 3rd of December.

This morning, a little window pops up and says their gay ass Social Club needs an update. So whatever. I install it. I been working on home movies for most of the morning, so I just let it run in the background.

Well now, I'm waiting on a movie to import, and it says it's going to take like 25 minutes, so I figure I'll play some GTA. So I launch it. And I notice it says I'm logged in (Offline). WTF? My internet's working fine. So I hit their stupid ass HOME key, (cause thats the shitty ass in game Live key) and click Log In to Live.

It tells me an update is available for the game, and that if I don't download it, I won't be able to play on Live. Ok, who gives a shit. If I can play the goddamn thing offline, why they fuck did you force me to create the stupid ass account in the first place!?!?

Im one to generally apply patches to games, as they are usually released to fix bugs and such, so I download it. It tells me my computer may restart after the install. Of course it will, we are talking about Microsoft Windows here.....

Well the download finishes, and then I get the following kick ass error message:

Hello..... Microsoft/Rockstar.....

Thanks for ruining the best game EVAR!!!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Legal Prostitution

Ok, Im not sure why I was thinking of this today on my way home from work.... but here goes...

Prostitution is illegal.... known fact.....

Porn is legal..... known fact.....

So if you were to go cruising for a hooker, and offer her $100 or whatever to have sex with you, so you can film it, and put it on your porn website...... is that legal?

If a hooker is cruising the strip looking for some guys who will pay her $100 or whatever to have sex with her, so she can record it and put it on her porn website...... is that legal?

Where exactly is the line drawn?

If I approach a girl in the Library and offer her $100 to be a performer in my porn movie, am I breaking prostituion laws?

If I'm driving down the street, and some girl offers me the ability to be in her porn movie for $100, is she breaking the law?

Is this whole thing just based on how you ask?

"I'll give you $20 for a blowjob" is illegal.....

"I'll give you $20 to give me a blowjob in my low-budget, home-made, porn for my weak-ass porn website" is legal.....

**TIP** if you're cruising for a hooker, bring a video camera!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Full Tilt Poker Is a piece of shit

Ok, so here's my bitch on Full Tilt:

I signed up years ago, using the name Phudgee.... I just play for play money on there, checking it out. Last year I signed up with the name AirCoolers, cause thats the name I play on all the other poker sites with. I deposit some money, and it comes time to deposit again..... all my credit cards are hostile banks, but FullTilt now offers eChecks - like Pokerstars does... So I do an eCheck deposit.

I deposit $50, fill out the forms, and it boots me off, and I can no longer log in....

I email FullTilt support, and they tell me I have two accounts, and AirCoolers has been closed. They say I can play Phudgee if I want to play. No... Phudgee was the play money account, I play REAL money under AirCoolers....

So I email Full Tilt back and explain this. They don't care. I've played REAL money under AirCoolers for over a year, and they suddenly want to shitcan that account and make me play Phudgee. 

So I email them back and DEMAND that they give me rakeback, and DEMAND that they let me use AirCoolers. I also include a copy of a Pokerstars deposit I made in the interim. The write back and basically tell me to fuck off.

A couple weeks later, I make another Pokerstars deposit, and carbon copy Full Tilt on it. They reply by telling me I can cancel my account if I no longer wish to use it. I don't reply, cause thats how I roll.

The day before yesterday, I get an email from Full Tilt offering me rakeback. I go to the site and sign up. I then email FullTilt support to ensure I'm going to get rakeback. I might not be able to use AirCoolers, but rakeback was a nice bone they threw my way, so I'll bite.

So I log on tonight, and try to do an eCheck deposit of $50.

BAMP!!! Instant account lockout!

I don't know what the hell Full Tilt is doing - So I emailed them the following:


Jesus Fucking Christ Already

Charles Teets

 to Full
show details 11:39 PM (21 minutes ago)

I just went through a three week long email trail (Pokerstars deposits included) with you guys because you disabled my account because I had a play money account and a real money account.

We seemed to have gotten that straight.

You sent me an email to sign up and get rakeback.

I signed up for rakeback, emailed you guys and you said everything was cool.

I tried to make a deposit just now and my fucking account just disabled again.

This is ridiculous.... take your poker site and stuff it.... I've had ZERO problems with PokerStars. 

I've never had so much trouble in my life trying to give someone money - jesus christ - TELL ME WHAT SHADE OF GREEN IT IS YOU WANT!!!

If I get another bullshit reply, Im not only going to go deposit more money on Pokerstars, just to carbon them on the receipt, but I'm going to take a photo of myself in my PokerStars Hat, telling them to fuck off and include that as well.

I'm sure more will follow.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Sunday, November 09, 2008

My new Favorite Magazine

I saw this while shopping in Food Lion the other day....

Oh, you know I bought it!

Friday, November 07, 2008

Say Hello to my Little Friend...

Last fall, we planted a whole garden of radishes. We had a shitload of radishes, like hundreds. It was cool, cause I love radishes, but that was way too many.

This fall, I just planted 2 rows. About 20 - 25 radishes. I figured that'd be good.

So I go out and pick them today, cause I noticed they were looking pretty damn good. And the motherfucking squirrels done fucked up about 80% of them.....

Heres all the ones that were eaten on:

And heres the seven (7) that weren't....
Little bastards.... Im gonna plant some more - it might be a little late, but Im gonna try.... and I'm gonna keep this in my garage by the back door:

It's just an airsoft rifle. But it shoots near 400fps. Light their little asses up! I nailed one this morning who was creepin' round.... that fucker jumped about 3 feet straight up in the air, and when he hit the ground, he ran up the nearest tree, and started tree hopping the hell out of here. I switched it to fully auto and drilled him until he was out of sight on the other side of my neighbors yard.

Doubt he'll be back around anytime soon, but we got so many of them bastards.....

Thursday, November 06, 2008


My buddy at work has been going on for years.... yes, YEARS... about how Scrapple is god's gift to humans.

He always talks about how great it is, and how if there were only one food left on the planet he'd hope it was Scrapple, blah blah blah...

Anyways, he once got me to try another of his favorite foods: Peanut Butter and Hot Dogs

I must say, it was pretty good....

So the other day I caved. After 8 years of hearing
how great Scrapple is, I bought me a package

So I look at the ingredients: Pork Snouts, Pork Hearts, seasoning.... ummmmm what the hell have I gotten myself in to?

Anyways, I said I'd try it, so what the hell... Grab some Eggs... if Im gonna eat it, I'm gonna go all out....

So I cut open the bag, and take a sniff...... hey, not bad.... smells like sausage!!!

Im getting hungry smelling it, so I slice me off a nice big slab. He says he cuts it length-wise, so I did the same....

And into the frying pan it goes.....

Im not quite sure how to cook it, but it smells like sausage, so Im going to cook it like sausage.... Once the one side gets nice and done, I'll give it a flip...

Then I fried me up an egg.... runny yolk... thats how I roll.... Slice of cheese melted on the egg, then toast a piece of bread afterward in the pan.....

I was too chickenshit to just take a bite out of the scrapple, so I tossed the egg on top of it....

This way, I could eat the egg and the scrapple at the same time, and if the scrapple was disgusting, hopefully the taste of the egg and cheese would counteract it a little so it didn't make me puke or anything.....

Anyways, here goes nothing....

Well I must say.... it did taste an awful lot like sausage, and after a few bites, I did indeed start eating it alone without the egg and cheese.....

However, I'm not sure I cooked it right, or if this is just a property of scrapple, but while the outside was nice and crusty, the inside was quite mushy.... it was a pretty big turn off... i mean, it's like biting into a sausage patty and the inside is just mush... what the fuck is that?

But all that said......

It couldn't have been too bad...

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Sorry All You Loser States....

I would just like to apologize to all the people who live in loser states, that their votes were not counted in this years election.... thanks to our friend the Electoral College.

States like Nevada, Montana, Arizona, Colorado, South Dakota, Nebraska, Missouri, Indiana, Florida and North Carolina.

The president's already been chosen, and your results aren't even in yet. Better luck next time!!

Voting Woes

Well, Im a little torn.....

I'm not sure who I'm going to vote for.....

Most everyone who knows me, knows I despise the electoral college, and therefore do NOT vote in the presidential elections. Why waste my time when my vote doesn't count anyway?

I do however, vote for all other public offices, as they don't have the electoral college screwing them up.

So here's my delima.... Im going to the polls to vote for congressmen, and senators.... so I'm going to vote for the president since im there, but I'm having a hard time deciding what to write in....

The obvious choice seems to be myself. But I'm really leaning to writing in Tweedlebama and Tweedlecain. I like it the best i think.

We shall see at 3:30PM.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

DIY Spartan Gear

My son wanted to be a Spartan for Halloween this year. Buying costumes is so fucking lame. So we made his. Heres what we did:

First, we needed cardboard, and lots of it. Luckily, I had plenty:

Next, we made a ring with about a 1 inch strip of cardboard, then strengthened it by crisscrossing other strips, and duct taping it all together:

Perfect Fits!

Next, we then took cardboard pieces and duct tape, and cut and formed them and taped them together to make a helmet:

Again, perfect fits!

So we needed something to make the crown thingy out of, and I had read on another blog where someone used a broom. I thought, "Hey! We can totally use a broom too!" So I took a broom, and cut it off on my Miter Saw:

Then we spray painted it red:

The nest thing to do, was fiberglass the thing:

Here it is after adding the mount for the crown thingy:

And now, the crown thingy:

After the fiberglass dried, we trimmed it up, and sanded it. Notice the dust mask in the next picture... fiberglass dust can really fuck you up. Saftey First!
Again, perfect fits!

Then we spreay painted it brass:

Two wrist guards, two shin guards, a little bit of spray paint, and a red bed sheet later: